“This is the very last time.”

Your scent is on me. I know what you wear. I made you tell me the last time you came to my house and pressed me up against the wall.

And I’ll remember. Always. To the grave. Only me. Only you. Forever. Last time.

We’re like magnets, lovers who’ve been forbidden and are finally alone, attraction so strong, our hands flying to each others faces, mouths always ready and eager.

And you turned me around ever so swiftly, bending me just far enough so that I could feel the length of you against me, while you slid my shorts down my legs.

And then you kissed that spot just below my waist, above the curve of my ass and my gasps were loud, sudden, my sounds clearly indicating my excitement? Anticipation. That’s it. My favourite emotion.

Because motherfucker, when your texts come through and my mind starts to race to the next when, it’s that emotion that soothes and kills me.

(Lemme just inhale you again right now in my head.)

And I did. I inhaled you as much as my lungs could take you.

And you reached up and undid my bra. You wanted me all the way naked, while your hands followed your eyes.

“Get on top of me.”

“Don’t you want my mouth?”

“I want it all.”

(That’s not what you told me. You said you wanted my mouth; you thought about it constantly. That’s why this is a problem.)

But I suppose if it’s the last time, forever, then it makes sense you’d want it all.

“You’re not even guiding me.”

“I don’t have to.”

“How come?”

You know I wanted to hear it. You know I needed an ego boost, especially because it’s coming from you….

“Because it’s perfect. It’s the best I ever had.”

(I need to pause to inhale again…)

You didn’t even have to do anything more.

“Kissing you is enough to make me come.”

“Lemme see then.”

“Do you know how sexy you are? Do you ? Do you know how hot you are, how hot your kisses are?”

You held my head so lovingly and a pang shot through me.

“Hold my head again.”

It was 2 minutes. Maybe 3. Watching you watching me with the in-between passionate kisses, goddamn your mouth, your tongue, that mouth.

And you said, “that mouth” and I promise it was all I needed, that last little nudge to push me over, your press-up against me, your hands on my hips….

And I exploded. Right on time too because your “don’t move” stilled every cell in my body, as I held my breath, careful not to ruin the moment, ruin yours….while you ruined me. Last time. Forever.

“Turn around.”

(Jesus. Your scent will go with me to bed tonight. There’s no way I’m washing you off my body.)

“Say my name.”

Oh boy and did you ever say my name.

“You want me to come,” and then my name….”you want me to come,” and then my name again and then again until I heard your breath catch, while I looked back, your eyes on me, your eyes not leaving mine, my weakness. And I pushed back, held on to the cheap thread count sheets and let you. Ruin me. For the last time. Forever. 

“Smile for me.”

“Why?” 

“Because I love your smile. And I want to see your smile.”

And you did.

“You like me.”

“I do.”

I watched you dress, hoping my eyes would entice you one more time. One more time for the last time forever. But I failed.

Because then you walked to the door.

And then you walked out.

“Kiss me again please. One last time.”

And for a second I thought I saw the doubt in your face, like you were going to tell me no and just keep walking down the hall.

But you didn’t. You turned back and kissed me. Hard. Like you wanted me to never forget you.

For the last time. Forever.