Monday didn’t exist; the sadness and hurt from the day before still prominent enough to make me want to hate, mad enough to cry…revenge maybe? But…how, where? Ideas brewed…
Tuesday brought awareness, thoughts of my feelings and where they stemmed, and why I felt the way I felt. One time. Just one time. I’m not this dumb. Never am I dumb….
Wednesday made me want to call another; letting him beat me to help me beat you out of me. Eyes wide shut, pushing back tears, thoughts of your smile haunting my being, threatening to steal my pleasure when the only pleasure I wanted to allow myself was yours but there I was, head banging the headboards but you weren’t the one banging.
That’s the revenge I wanted. But you weren’t there, you ain’t even know it….but did you feel it? I hope you felt it. God knows I wished it out on you with every moan and every groan and every last throbbing from my thighs…I hope you felt it and I hope it hurt.
Thursday is forgotten. Forced forgetfulness. It’s not the same. You still linger.
Friday brought new temptations, new revelations, X’s and O’s and red wine and liquor, that loud and codeine and caffeine and popping things to stop reminding me…
I met you on a Friday. Smiling eyes and brown skin and teeth and tongue and lips, that mouth, your skin, oh baby your skin and I hear your laugh, I hear that laughter and the way you put your hands together when you laugh and your eyes close for a second and you look at me like, like….
Friday turned into Saturday. Three hours, only three hours. I can’t keep doing this…
It’s Sunday. Nothing’s changed.
You’re still on this brain.