“Let me hold you tight
If only for one night
Let me keep you near
To ease away your fear
It would be so nice
If only for one night
I won’t tell a soul
No one has to know
If you want to be totally discreet
I’ll be at your side
If only for one night
Your eyes say things I never hear from you
And my knees are shakin’ too
But I’m willin’ to go through
I must be crazy
Standin’ in this place
But I’m feeling no disgrace
For asking”…- Luther Vandross – “If Only For One Night.”
I wasn’t expecting to see anyone in the lobby, especially at that time of night. I’d just walked my friend out and was on my way back into the hotel when I saw him. He was standing there, looking down at his phone and I was half hoping he wouldn’t even notice me, not the way I was dressed in my bare feet and lounging pants and hair looking all frizzy and shit. But the other half was hoping he would notice me; the other half was already hoping he’d…
He looked up and I swear it was like a scene straight out of a chick flick.
I know. Wow.
You’re just, you’re so….
So are you…
Julia. It’s so nice to meet you.
It’s so nice to meet you, Shawn.
So what are doing here at this time?
My girlfriend was here, she’s from out of town, and she just left to catch her flight, so I just walked her out to say goodbye. What are you doing here?
I’m actually supposed to be going home. I was just at a party.
Well, yes, supposed to…
There was a pause for a few seconds. We just stared and smiled. I looked down shyly and he laughed. Then he spoke:
I’m not ready to leave.
We stood there, just smiling and watching each other again. You could tell from looking at us that our wheels were turning, we were contemplating things in our minds. I spoke next:
I can’t take my eyes off you.
I know. I can’t either. I can’t believe you’re just standing here looking at me like this. You’re a beauty.
He was sweet. He looked sweet. How stupid could I be, thinking someone looked sweet? I swear it was like that cartoon where the devil sits at one shoulder and the angel at the other shoulder, trying to tell you what to do. All I knew was I didn’t want to never have contact with this boy again.
Listen, this is crazy, but I swear I’m not crazy and if you are crazy, then I’m even crazier but….my friend’s gone and I’ve got her room till morning. You want to, just, maybe, I don’t know, chill, hang out, have a smoke….do you even smoke?
Yeah I do actually….
Well, then, how about we just hang out and smoke and talk and no one has to leave yet?
I’d like that.
His smile made me smile. I couldn’t stop staring. I kept shaking my head and playing with my hands. I wasn’t nervous, I was giddy. I wanted this boy at my side. I wanted to touch him and kiss his cheek and I just wanted to….love him, if only for one night…
He followed me through the corridor and into the room. I let him in and closed the door behind him. I offered to take his jacket and he took it off and handed it to me. I noticed his arms and the snug shirt. He was thin, athletically so and I got an urge to hug him. I hung up his jacket and turned to him. He was rubbing his hands together like he was cold, or nervous, or both.
This is crazy. You’re beautiful.
This is so crazy. And you’re beautiful. And just so you know, I swear I don’t do this. I’ve never done this. Ever.
Neither do I. But, here we are right? Both of us being crazy together.
I sat on the edge of the bed and motioned for him to sit down. He did. He sat down, close enough where our thighs were touching. He didn’t move.
It was stupid and crazy and fun and just overwhelmingly romantic all at the same time. Conversation flowed and eventually we got so comfortable that we were laying on the pillows, propping our heads up on our elbows, close enough to touch. He held my hand, I’d touch his arm, wanting always to keep the connection between us, wanting always to make sure the attraction was still there. And two hours passed, just like that.
I reached out to touch his face, unable to resist any longer. I wanted more. I ran my index finger along his cheekbone and he closed his eyes and welcomed my touch.
I feel so right with you. This feels so right. I don’t want this night to end. Do you feel this energy? Do you feel this between us?
I didn’t know what to say. I felt it. I felt his warm energy and his sweet vibe and I wanted it. I wanted it to continue. I leaned over and kissed him, pressing my lips tightly to his. His eyes softened visibly and he almost melted into me, responding more than I expected. He moaned. I moaned. He laid his hand over my cheek and I was right where I needed to be. I said:
I don’t even know you. But I want this. I want you. Let me love you. You should let me love you, just tonight…